Difficult Day

This morning I played the piano for the funeral of my dear friend's baby. Yamin was 26 weeks pregnant and delivered her 2 lb baby on Thursday night (breach, husband & dr. not there, just nurses & midwife). Saturday night little Sofia Victoria returned to her Heavenly Father.

I am not sad because of the death of Sofia because I know she has finished her mission here on earth and is in a better place. I am sad for my friend. She had a miscarriage earlier in the year and was so excited that everything had been going well with this pregnancy. Yamin has a 4 year old daughter who desperately wants to be a big sister. This is twice now in one year that I was going to throw her a baby shower and it didn't work out. Yesterday I gave her the gift that was meant for the shower. I am nervous for my girls to wear their matching Christmas dresses in a few weeks because Yamin was so excited that she was going to be able to have her girls wear matching clothes... she had already bought them matching dresses. I worry that I will say something that will make the pain worse. I just hope that I can be the friend she needs me to be.
Typing this I have tears running down my face and it's difficult to read the words on the computer. Imagine my worry when Yamin asked me to play the piano for the funeral. I had secretly been hoping that they would ask a missionary who is serving in our ward & plays the piano really well. But they didn't. And I couldn't say no. Let's just say that I practiced hard and prayed even harder that I would be able to keep my emotions in check while playing so that I could see the notes. Heavenly Father heard my prayer and I was able to focus on the music and played really well.

Soon after we found out that Sofia had died I was asked if they could use one of my preemie outfits for the burial. I told them I would figure something out, but after looking through my baby clothes realized that nothing was nearly small enough. I found a pretty doll dress that would work with a little altering and took it to Ruth's (who can cook/sew/fix/etc anything). She looked at the dress and decided it would be best to make a special dress just for Sofia. It was late at night and she had no pattern, but between her supplies and parts of the doll dress, Ruth made the smallest, most beautiful little white dress. It seriously looked like it was made for a little angel. I'm so glad that Sofia was able to be buried in something so appropriate.